I wanted to become a true and sincere Ahmadi, from which I went to Qadian, but the conditions I saw there brought me closer to Islam instead of Qadianism. My name is Chanda Samina Kausar and I belong to Chenab Nagar whose old name is Rabwah. I did my basic education from Rabwah, FA, BA and after that I did my B.Ed from Chiniot College. After B.Ed I got an opportunity to go to Switzerland on a student base and from there I migrated to Belgium. My current position in Belgium is as a judge in the Family Court. I was a Qadiani by birth, my grandfather Qutab Din was the first in my family to accept Mirza Qadiani as Imam Mahdi. Even when I was a Qadiani, I used to call myself not only a Muslim, but we used to call ourselves true Muslims. But I had the opportunity to go to Qadian with my mother at a younger age.
As my memory is a bit sharp so I remember every single day spent at Qadian. So what I felt was actually a bad smell in that town, like a slight stench or as they say, a kind of stench coming from the drains or sewers. The second thing I noticed in Qadian was one of their rooms, Bait-Ud-Dua. There was very long queues of people in it. They say that if a person do pray in that room, he is absolutely entitle to Jannat. When I got a chance to go in it, I felt a kind of horror and over there. Those were the days of Saalana Jalsa but I did not feel any spiritual thing in this Bait-ud -Dua. The third thing was Minarat al-Masih it with your hands then kissing them all over your body and face and wiping them. And there is a small space inside the Minaret too, So I did not find any peace of mind or soul even after going in there. The fourth thing was Mirza Qadiani’s grave. Anyone who goes there must visit Mirza Qadiani’s grave and there is a pathway on which he used to walk, and stroll with his wife, to the railway station.
It is very important to get there for each visitor. So when I used to walk there with my mother, there was no such thing, no spiritual, nothing like that scene at all, and I used to ask people that maybe I am not feeling it, “Dear Aunt! Do you feel something like we are in the streets of Makkah or enjoying air and winds of Madinah? But since everyone is Qadiani by birth, A Qadiani by birth has no right to talk about this place. With the devotion, love, and respect that we traveled to Qadian, when we went there, the idea that we had of a spiritual atmosphere, a fragrant land, we found nothing like that there at all people have given it the status of Makkah-Madinah (Nauzu Billah) just by themselves.
After that, when I started reading Mirza Qadiani’s books on the basis that Mirza Qadiani himself said that it is necessary for every Ahmadi to read my books three times. I came to know that Hazrat Isa (A.S) who was the true Nabi of God who was born of a pious mother, the obscene things about Hazrat Isa (A.S).
My father was very shocked and annoyed. He accused me of being taught these things by some Maulvi. As Mirza Qadiani has written by himself in Ruhani Khazain volume no-19 that (Nauzu Billah) that Hazrat Isa (A.S) used to drink alcohol. There are many such blasphemous words which do not suit a Nabi at all. After that, there were so many things that a girl could not share with her father, so I used to share with my mother. In the dark, sometimes in secret, sometimes in the store room, that mother these are the things that are written, so my mother who was an educated woman used to tell me, “Mark them to me, my daughter, I will read them 10 times and try to understand them. And many times she would also contact the Qadiani scholar (Murabbi) saying that you are our respected teacher, and guide us, as these things are tying a knot in our hearts. After all this, when I used to talk to my parents my mother was convinced, but my father was never convinced, rather he prayed for me to die, what an awful child was born in my house. Because I was the youngest amongst the siblings and the most serving and my siblings were all set in Europe but I promised God to fulfill my parents till death.
After that, I completely stopped discussing with my father for some time and I asked God that I am a woman, a girl if I come out of this torment, I will not come out without my parents. Then my father started having some dreams about himself and me in his last stage, then whenever I called him from Belgium, he would tell me to come to him quickly, as he would see some fire. Sometimes he used to see himself burning, so he used to say that you are my daughter, you are healing me, so in this way the hatred of my father was turned into love by God Almighty.
Then, Alhamdulillah, the day came in 2015 when my father formally agreed with me that we leave this cult and put many curses on Mirza Qadiani. We accepted Islam with a sincere heart.
Since my childhood was spent in Rabwah (Chenab Nagar), there are many such incidents that are imprinted on my mind as I have seen them with my own eyes. As bequeathed by these people, they give money throughout their lives that they will enter into heaven and have made a separate graveyard as Beheshti Maqbarah (Heavenly Graveyard). So people who even had little money less than required were not buried there. Although they continued to pay their share of income regularly throughout their lives, if they could not pay a small remaining amount of money due to illness or old age or due to problems, I did not see their mercy anywhere. And they were buried in the normal general cemetery as a trust. And since my father was elderly and his eyesight was also weak and he was a pious man, he was invited that at such and such a time, you should come and take the dead body out of there (from general graveyard and shift to the heavenly graveyard) on the condition as they did not pay their arrears till then. Four days later or five days later I go with him as I was young, I used to insist to my father that definitely go to see this. When the corpse was taken out, at that time there is used to be a cloth on my father’s shoulder. He would wrap it on my face too. Because there was so much stench from this corpse, splash and drip through the entire journey from the general graveyard to the baheshti graveyard. I used to feel so much pain in my heart that why we don’t have enough money so that we pay the money so the body is not desecrated in this way.
After accepting Islam, all the Qadiani people who are evenly your relatives, who know you, your friends, who eat together with you, speak with you, and join in your sorrows and pains, everyone a letter is issued from Mirza Masroor that this man has rejected Qadiyanism and according to us he is now an apostate and infidel. So by saying this they are really insulted badly and this attitude has been going on since the very beginning, Mirza Qadiani has made a basis of this for how to paralyze them mentally and I am an eyewitness that when I was in Rabwah and was a student a lot of girls and a lot of boys, when they asked questions and didn’t get answers, they ended up committing suicide. Since they have their own hospitals, that suicide did not come to the limelight and I bore this example on my heart because I was in Belgium and my parents were in Rabwah. And my parents who put their hands in construction of Rabwah share in the construction of Rabwah, in the laying of bricks of which they had given their blood and sweat, they were imprisoned in their house because of Mirza Masroor as he would say, you should repent you are an influential person of the neighborhood, a lot of people will also question if you get out (of the religion). And there were cameras in the street above so no one could help them, no food, no pain medicine, no disprin, nothing. Total boycott from the neighborhood. So they gave their lives by enduring such suffering. And the doctor’s report which is on death certificate of my mothet and my father is that the cause of death is due to hunger. Death due to starvation! There was no heart and blood pressure problem. Only when their bowels were checked, there was about 13 days, neither water nor bread. And they used to stand on the roof and cry to the people in the street to give them a piece of dry piece of bread. The woman who used to cook food for 40 people at a time for the Qadiani rabbis, at the last age craved for a morsel of bread and left the world.
After my mother starved to death, my father was alone at home. He had no rations, no water, no clean clothes, no medicine, nothing. So he was alone. Then I contacted the UNO office in Islamabad that they can check my father through the embassy. Because my father and my mother have been citizens of Belgium since they lived in Belgium. But they didn’t feel like living there, so they used to come back here (to Rabwah). In this situation, when the agencies of Islamabad contacted here, my father was not found at home. When people recognized my father on a road in nearby Rabwah and he was checked by this institution he had many gravel stones in his mouth which he was sucking. And when he was asked where is your house, he did not even remember where his house was.
There is an accusation against them (Qadianis) that they are too close to Israel, and I also considered it as an accusation when I saw writing on different type of walls that the Qadianis are friends of Israel, they are traitors, they are traitors. I used to think that which Maulanas have the right to say this to the Qadianis or regularly write such on the walls. So there was a lot of anger in me. But after going to Belgium, after coming into their system, after doing their work as a preacher, I realized that this is absolutely true and correct, because there is a high-level center of the Qadianis, that is built by them in Israel, they regularly visit the center, and in 2014 special mini chip-based cards were made for everyone, that stored your health data, your education, your age, what work you do, with your entire biography, and they made it in the name that it is for our security, but it was a kind of an agreement with Israel that this community from Pakistan they are standing side by side with you in such numbers so my delusion and anger and hatred went away that this is not an accusation, it is absolutely true and correct that Qadianis are a friend of Israel and it is true that the Qadianis have a special affinity with the Israelis.
One thing that was very painful for me, the source of torture, was that whenever any Qadiani migrates from Pakistan, they create an atmosphere, create a story against Pakistan, that Maulanas are after us, our girls are in danger, they only talk about downplaying Pakistan in such a way that it looks like a very terrorist country to the viewer, an example of which are the reservations that Pakistan have in Europe or other countries they have also increased a lot due to the Qadianis, due to which Pakistan has reached the point of going to the Gray List.
I would sincerely like to give a message to all the Qadianis, that when you want to leave this environment and enter a very peaceful life think about Islam, think about the Quran not just a few selected verses (provided from rabbis) take it up for discussion, discuss it and not let the entire Quran remain pressed there. This was the work of the hypocrites and the disbelievers.
Of course, I have a message from the bottom of my heart that read Mirza Qadiani’s books by removing the glasses of your devotion and love, read them with a sincere heart, and Irfan Mahmood Baraq is a torch of light for us. If there is any question, so he will definitely guide you. And with honor, he will also place a cloak of love and affection on your head, which you can never take away from you.
Now my only purpose in life is for those who are wandering in the dark, who can’t see the way and ask questions and try to answer themselves. Making it easy for them to recognize this light and a true journey that will be successful in life and will lead to intercession in the Hereafter. And life is very easy with Farman-E-Mustafa (S.A.W) and dying is even easier with Shaan-E-Mustafa.